Have to confess, the first Jug Ears/Face Flop debate was boooring. Can't anyone say anything new or interesting anymore? Has our political culture devolved to the point where points are scored based on body language, lack of mistakes, and posturing? We're you excited? Did your distended member twitter with anticipation, becoming aroused and proud? If so...shame, shame, shame on you.
Gadfrey daniels, ladies & gentlemen, it's enough to drive you to the sex sites on web, none of which I dare to frequent for fear of completely screwing up this six-year-old computer, held together with a prayer and a song.
Of course Jug Ears won the debate. Unless you're a Repubican, which means you think ol' slidy face won it. But how could anyone in their right minds support a guy whose face could fall off at any minute, scaring the bejusus out of weak-willed men, lily-holding women, and any children stupid enough to be pulled from their computers to experience democracy in action.
Can you imagine what would happen if, the the middle of a rant, Senator McScreed's right cheek fell onto his podium? Women weeping, children retching, and men going "cool."
What would happen? Worst case: Sarah Palin as president. Now there's something I'd like to see...except I'm not old enough. I figure if someone's going to destroy the entire foundation upon which my peace, security, and retirement are based, I need to be at least 80 years old so I'm willing to live the last few years of life not simply in abject poverty but surrounded by marauding invaders from the Lithuanian secret service (of which Palin is a paid agent in case you missed that on CNN.)
Enough. Anyone who thinks she's qualified to be Governor of Alaska is the product of too much inbreeding.
On the other hand, the problem with Jug Ears is that, while I applaud his vision, his belief in a 21st century model of America is naive. I fear his total lack of experience with the political machine in D.C. will leave him in much the same state as the CEO of a multi-billion dollar chemical company for whom I once worked. This total prick, who had the personal charm of a cobra, really did want to improve the environmental performance of the company. But no matter how much he ranted and raved (and such ravings you wouldn't believe), nothing happened. In a snit of magnificent magnitude, he once cried out in a meeting, "find me that fucking middle manager who's getting in the way of any progress so I can take him out back and shoot him."
I swear I'm not making that up. CEO. Multi-billion dollar company. Castrated by a host of middle managers not venal or evil (that would be too easy,) but terrified of change they couldn't control.
That's what Jug Ears if facing.
So we muddle on. Muddle, muddle, muddle.
Worse, the bride & I watch hours of political cable ineptitude in the vain pursuit of...well, not wisdom, but perhaps elucidation.
What fools these mortals be.
Curmudgeon-At-Large
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