On March 1st, I launched my campaign to get Amazon to send me a free Kindle 2 to evaluate, even appealing to their brilliant, savant-extraordinare CEO, Jeffrey P. Bezos that such a gift would bring him great happiness. (Desperate people will try anything)
Having successfully convinced the marketing geniuses at Jameson Irish Whiskey to send me free samples of their product, including some of the most rare and marvelous, it occurred to me that I'd perhaps developed a new skill: giftiness, the art of getting companies to send me free gifts.
After considerable thought, I decided that the Kindle 2 would be a reasonable second effort, even though I haven't freely promoted it as much as I had Jameson.
Truth be told, I'm suspicious of any technology that might replace the printed word, but being a fair, open-minded, avaricious kind of guy, I declared a willingness to fairly evaluate the Kindle 2. If I found it worthy of my support, I'd become a slavish promoter.
Having made famous (sort of) my Jameson slogan, In Jameson Veritas, I offered the following to Amazon, Vita Brevis, Kindle2 Longa.
Omigosh. I have so much to learn from the master self-promoter, Stephen Colbert. I never mentioned that I was such an early and frequent customer of Amazon that they sent me a mouse pad as a Christmas present. Hey, any Amazon people reading this, make note of that please. I'm not just an Amazon-Come-Lately!
So far, the response from Amazon has been encouraging. No lawyer calls telling me to cease and desist or they'll put a lien on my home, a foolish gesture since it's worth about $3.45 in today's market. And no e-mails telling me to get a life. And no black SUVs driving by my house, stopping suspiciously, and then moving on.
Silence isn't necessarily bad. Old Thomas Moore, when challenged by Henry VIII to support his booting out the Catholic Church and starting his own so he could get married again, responded by saying nothing. According to British Common Law, silence means consent. Of course, Moore got beheaded, but Henry was a bit of a lunatic, a characteristic one would never associate with anyone at Amazon.
Therefore, I take their silence as consenting to my request.
I don't approach my mailbox with excitement and anxiety. Nor do I race out when the UPS or Fedex trucks come rolling by, although I confess I do keep an eye out for them. Hey, it takes time for someone to do the paperwork and get the order moving.
So I want to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Bezos and the good people at Amazon for their generosity and their confidence that'll I'll find the Kindle 2 superior to traditional books. Thank You.
In Jameson Veritas
Vita Brevis, Kindle2 Longa
